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  I started spending way too much time and money there. I used the ATM machines whenever I ran out of money, which in hindsight was a good thing because now I have a good clear idea just how much money I was robbed of! I say I was robbed because I played those games in good faith thinking I had a fair chance, after reading the book "Dismissed" and "Addiction by Design" I realize now, that I didn't have a fair chance. This was my life savings and my severance pay.

It got so I didn't even care if I won or not, I just wanted to keep on playing and even when I did win, I just put the money back in. Some players call it the zone, it's where I lose all common sense, it's where I lose my will to stop, and it's where I lose my life savings. The casinos are designed to keep you in there for as long as possible they call it "time on device" and it's the goal of the developers to maximize how much money they can make one person spend (they call it "time on device").

No one tells you that tho, I looked for information on the odds, information on how to play sensibly, information on anything that would help me get over this obsession. I even emailed Gamesense, where they basically tell you it's all your fault, that you are weak or defective or addictive. They don't tell you that the machines are psychologically designed specifically to keep you on them until all your money is gone. ("Maximum player revenue").

I started gambling upwards of $1,000 a day, by now my RSPS, my severance package were gone and my Visa was up to the limit. I couldn't stop. I tried praying, I tried bargaining, I tried fooling myself, but it never failed as soon as I left the house, I talked myself into going back to the casino. 

I felt suicidal for the first time in my life, I would go home and wonder how could I have done it again? I felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. I started to convince myself that if my family found out that I had gambled away all I had worked so hard for, they would be disgusted with me. I started to convince myself that being dead would be better than having to face them. After searching over a period of a year (there is very little help out there) I found reference to a book called "Dismissed" 

I took it out of the library and read it out of desperation, not really believing anybody or anything could help me. I emailed the author and to my surprise she responded. She explained to me how the machines work, how the average gambler doesn't stand a chance, and how anybody can become obsessed and addicted to them, that is what they are designed to do! The more I learned about the machines, the odds and the systems behind them, the more I awakened to the fact that I had been cheated. I haven't gambled for over two months now, which doesn't seem like a long time to the average person, but I couldn't stop and I was spending $1,000 a day! 

I feel it is my duty to inform other people in my situation, ordinary everyday hardworking people who thought they were just going to blow off a little steam. I feel that they need to know that the machines are designed to take advantage of them. and that the systems in place to "help" just try to convince you that you're weak and one of a few that get addicted.
There was no place I could go to find out the truth about these machines. It wasn't until I read Gisele's book and spoke to her that I was able to stop. I feel we need to band together and prove what we found out about VLTs & slots and force the government that owns them to honestly inform the public on every aspect of these machines. The fact that they are designed with the psychology to make you stay and play longer than you planned, to make you spend more money than you planned and that the average player doesn't have a chance.

 Due to the shame and stigma attached to this severe addiction,

 I'm not yet ready to share my full name publicly.